Me Mondays: On Passion & Drive

Good Monday to you all! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

I had a pretty good one...steamy, but good. It wasn't necessarily what we did this weekend, but rather that I realized something about myself. I know that I have found my purpose. I know it. This is going to sound really strange, but since I left high school, I haven't been passionate about much other than the people I love. I have always had a passion for my husband, my son, my family and my friends, but as far as outside interest...I haven't had it. I went to college at the regularly scheduled time...but, I dropped out, because I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had no direction...therefore, no drive. I think that's what the deal is...I haven't had any drive since high school music.

It dawns on me, that having drive translates to so many other areas of my life. I've been passing my "mood" off on a serious case of apathy, but I realize now that it's not for a lack of caring...it's just that there hasn't been anything that I have felt driven to do. I have been seeing my lack of "inner fire" as a personal character flaw, like if I could just get my act together, and behave correctly...I would be "that person"...the one that does things with gusto, and has zest, and brings her enthusiasm to her relationships, her home, her prayer, her marriage, and her interactions. I think I was wrong!

Now, I have to tread lightly here, because I believe in balance. I believe that you can create passion, and that you need to do what you know to do...not just what you feel like doing. But, this weekend, I realized that I'm am extremely emotionally connected to Real Food activism. I get down right teary eyed when I find out that Wendy's is hearing the call, or that we have made some kind of impact in Congress. I am driven to do things that I wouldn't normally do...take chances that I wouldn't normally take. I am NOT the kind of person that makes cold calls to ask for opportunities or possibilities...I don't "step out" to make things happen. However, if it has to do with the issue of Real Food...I am more than willing to do so. I am driven to educate, learn, promote, spread the word...and, I do it because I am genuinely excited...the enthusiasm is authentic! For the first time...well, ever...I feel like I am spending my time doing a job that is noble, good work, and that has the potential to affect real and lasting change for people. I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to make this a workable career for myself!

How This Fits in to the Whole Family

In keeping with the theme of Me Mondays, and focusing on ways to take care of ourselves in order to have what it takes to give the best to our families...here's how this affects my role as a wife and mom: My husband is incredibly attracted to the intellectual parts of me. He has always made it clear that he has 2 favorite things about me...my cooking, and the fact that I cherish wisdom...and, can succinctly communicate it when needed. He always challenges me to develop myself personally & philosophically. So, there's extra sparkle in his eye when he sees me branching out and talking fervently about Real Food...writing my blog, marketing it, getting even small measures of success...and getting feedback from people who are hearing the message. It does wonders when respect and admiration have a role in a relationship of 11 years. We've always had it...but, it can recede when there's nothing to get excited about. Seeing your mate live with passion is a very attractive thing.

Having something that keeps you driven is also good for your kids. First and foremost, my brain is challenged every day. I have been experiencing stagnation for the past several years. Certainly, there were circumstantial issues, but for the most part, I just didn't have a reason to apply my reasoning & critical thinking skills. Just the act of exercising my intellect has made me a more creative mom...not to mention, that since I have an outlet, it's much easier to not feel "trapped" or "lost" in motherhood. I want my son to have a joyful mom. That is a much more realistic scenario when I'm not wondering "where am I in all this?". I believe in being content with your role as a mom...but, I also believe that if God has given you the gift of a certain talent, or if He has put a desire in your heart...you have to find a way to invest in that, or you're probably not being the best mom you can be, anyway.

It's important to make our families know that while we are voluntarily and enthusiastically doing the work of caring for them, that we are also committed to letting ourselves be used for whatever other purpose God has for us. I want to be an example in that way, also. I want to answer "Yes!" to my other callings, as well. Of course...if it's ever at the expense of my family, I pray that God will find someone to call me into account, so that I can remedy it, immediately.

So...Real Food. That's where it is, for me. I can't wait to tell you about the progress that our region of the country is making...about all the wonderful and exciting things that are happening to further the cause. Good things are happening, folks...good things. Curious? This week's Real Food Wednesday is going to be full of wonderful resources and links:)

Backpacks, Chef Hats, and a Heavy Dose of "What Have I Gotten Myself Into?"

Well, I alluded to it in Wednesday's post. But, yesterday, I actually did it...I enrolled in school to get my AAS in Culinary Arts. I am waiting on financial aid to come through, but I will most likely be registered for fall classes at Tarrant County College by Wednesday. Ummmm...yay? See, if this were someone else, who would be turning 33 on the 6th day of the semester, I would admire the heck out of them! But, the last time I went there I was maybe 19 years old, had random braids all through my hair, I drove a clunker sports car, stayed out all night every night, and several other things that were detrimental to my health.

As I sat waiting for the student advisor yesterday, I began taking in the scene around me. I started studying the people waiting with me...people who were about 4 YEARS OLD the last time I was enrolled there! If you can imagine returning to a place that you frequented 14 years ago, signing up to do the same thing again, but this time, instead of wondering where your friends' band is playing that night, you're wondering if you're going to be able to sleep through the night without your joint pain waking you up. This is not the activity you want to pursue if you're having issues with aging gracefully. I'm just sayin'...

All that being said, Brandon and I walked around the state of the art kitchen, and I even peeked in a few drawers. I have to tell you...little balls of excitement jumped in my stomach. I love cooking so much...I love the chopping, I love the chemistry of it, and I certainly love what it does for people. A bonus?...professional knife skills! I have wanted to chop like a pro for years:) So, that's my little adventure for the foreseeable future.

As for other news...I am having a serious case of blogojealousy. You know I'm passionate about promoting the Real Food Movement, so when I ran across the Go Local Challenge over at Kitchen Stewardship...well, I was very impressed! There is an amazing and practical schedule of posts that make transitioning into local foodieism very doable. The blogger who runs that site, Katie, is extremely knowledgeable, has honed the educational aspect to a fine art, and is sharing those resources for all who read! If you are interested in making the transition in your family, I highly recommend reading her blog, and participating in this challenge! One day, I will be the highly developed food educator that I want to be, but until then...I'll just spread the word!!

Well, I'll be at the rainy farmer's market this weekend, hopefully having some fun with friends, and playing around with making mozzarella. Happy Weekend...I'll see you Monday!

Whole Marriage: The Problem

I believe in marriage. I believe in it, strongly. I believe in it when it feels good...I believe in it when it doesn't. I make no secret of the fact that I find it stomach churning that marriage has become so expendable, in our society. I abhor the fact that being committed, through thick and thin, is a virtue that my particular generation views as yesterday's fashion. A trend that I find particularly disturbing, is the way it's almost viewed as an "accomplishment" to finally break away from the "oppressive" lifestyle of marriage, so that you can "find you", again. It's like there's a group out there lobbying to change marriage vows to state, "I pledge my life to you, as long as my ethics hold out, or as long as I feel like it."

{DISCLAIMER: If someone is being abused or cheated on...it's a different story. I would never think less of someone for divorcing over infidelity, and if you are being beaten, PLEASE LEAVE NOW!!....just so we're clear on what I mean.}

What's behind it?:

While I believe that there is a fundamental character flaw in my generation, concerning all things integrity-related, I don't think it's productive to just sit around and wax philosophical about the shortcomings. I think there are ways to practically make steps toward making real change...especially when considering marriage.

So often, marriage is associated with emotion. It's dramatized on screen and off, and is promoted by the most emotionally manipulative industry known to history. LOVE...it's the feeling that everyone is trying to achieve. The Big Lie?...love is NOT a feeling...it's an action. We associate it with the butterflies in our stomachs, or by a rush of appreciation for our spouse's very existence, but the truth is, it's about DOING what it takes to make them know they are loved, committing to be the one that meets their needs...not about how we feel about them at any given moment. Love as a feeling is not a bottomless well...it is finite. (Blessedly, it's renewable...but, we'll get into that in a different post.) However, somewhere along the way, we've been done the grave disservice of being made to believe that when that feeling doesn't show up for a while...we're given a justifiable ticket out.

What to do?:

Do I think that one needs to stay miserable in a marriage, simply because there is no physical abuse or infidelity? Certainly not! However, I do think we ought to give our marriages the same respect and attention that we would give any other area of our life. We're more than willing to make adjustments in our diets and exercise plans if we aren't getting the results we desire. We're more than willing to go to school to learn a different trade, because we aren't happy in our careers. We're even willing to read books about how to address problems we're having with our children, in order to know how to better raise them. When it comes to marriage, however, it almost seems like the mainstream doesn't want to promote it, in order to not offend the massive population of people who have allowed their marriages to fail. You heard me...I said allowed their marriages to fail. You know that saying "you can't choose who you love"?...well, pardon me...but, that's a load of bull! We fight all day, every day for our right to choose. However, when it comes time to be responsible for those choices...we drop it like it's hot, wanting everyone to believe that it just couldn't be helped. You may not be able to manufacture chemistry on a first date...but, you can certainly choose to do the act of loving your spouse. (and if they made it to spouse, then there was most likely chemistry there to begin with, which means that if it has subsided...you can get it back!)

The Hump:

There are plenty of people out there who are willing to do what it takes to make their unworkable marriages work, again. I know several of those. They've been miserable for years, but are unwilling to just abandon their vows without doing some work, first. They are willing to do a trial separation, intense counseling, finding guidance from mentors, prayer, seeking the Lord...and they do those things with acute attention to the matter. However, the spouse in question simply doesn't have the willingness to do any repair work, simply doesn't care, or have found their "freedom" to be a more attractive circumstance than working to make their marriage a happy one. That's abandonment, and Paul is clear that a person's refusal to "cling" or "cleave" to their spouse is sufficient grounds for the offended spouse to seek divorce. Sometimes, there is nothing you can do to make a situation change, and God's mercy is always in authority over rules of law.

The Challenge:

I want to go deeper into this issue in a series of posts, because I believe we need to intensively chip away at the notion of disposable marriage if we EVER intend to achieve whole families. Because, seriously, how can you have a whole family, when the very founding relationship of that family falls by the way side? I have a really solid marriage, but we have recently had a series of extraordinary circumstances that have caused a "snippy" season. You know what I mean...nothing really big is going wrong, but we've been uncharacteristically short and a little rude to each other for a few weeks. I've been intentionally acting more merciful toward my son in the past couple of months, in order to break a dysfunctional cycle of "snippiness" with him. So this week, I am going to do the same with my husband. I'll fill you in on the progress I know for certain I will be able to report...because, when I choose to do the act of loving my husband in more purposeful ways...it NEVER fails to bring about that feeling...you know...the one they call love?

{2003: our engagement photo. it's been nearly 8 years, so some cuteness has left the building:)}

Maybe you could use a week like that? I'd love to know how it works for you:)

Mountain Rose Herbs

I have lots of ambitions regarding the direction of my home and the products that I will use to care for it and all it holds. As soon as we get into a place of our own, it's going to look like a chemistry lab in no time flat. Laundry soap, deodorant, body care products, cleaning products...these are all on the list of industrial casualties for our home. I had long ago stopped using chemical cleaning agents in our home, but I have been wanting to go beyond white vinegar for quite some time, now. There is also the issue of wanting to become more frugal, consume less, create less waste, and pull money out of the pockets of large corporations. So, how does that happen? Where do you start?

I have found many wonderful blogs since I started this gig, and they have helped enormously! I had been finding wonderful recipes for homemade home & family care on other blogs, but I was always wondering where they got their ingredients. Since I don't live in a part of the country that is saturated with resources for the life I want to live, I was getting frustrated. Until...one day, I realized that lots of the blogs I read had the same button on them for Mountain Rose Herbs. Well, wouldn't you know it...it's a wealth of resources! It's oh so much more than just herbs...there are carrier oils for aromatherapy, there are butters (like shea, cocoa, and kokum), there are essential oil kits, containers for everything, and my personal favorite...bulk coconut oil...for an AMAZING price, which is huge, because I use it for everything from cooking my sons eggs in the morning to making deodorant...VERY versatile. That's just scratching the surface. I. am. thrilled!!!

Soooo...naturally, I promptly went to the website, applied to be an affiliate, and was approved! Now, let me clarify...I realize that many readers are bloggers in the natural home realm, themselves, and are more than likely quite familiar with Mountain Rose Herbs, and most likely an affiliate. So, I totally get that...but, I do have a few readers that are looking for resources to help them on their journey toward keeping a natural home, and I will happily provide that link! There is a button on the right side of my blog page that will link you directly to their site!

I feel good about recommending their products, because they are committed to providing quality, EXTREMELY well-priced, very versatile and usable products. Add to that, they are also committed to community & organic agriculture, education and activism for it, and I am honored to be promoting them! What a great company!

Just to make it even easier...here is a link to their eCatalog:

http://viewer.zmags.com/publication/b01684aa#/b01684aa/16

Happy shopping, my friends;)

Real Foodie Mishaps & A Fuzzy Ball of Madness

Well, I know I said I would be back yesterday, but when we got home from our weekend in Lubbock, I was working on about 2 hours of sleep (followed by a good stretch of head bobbing, neck snapping, half snoozing in the car on the way home), and I frankly, had to go to sleep. So, I beg your pardon for the bogart.

As for today, I am going to bring attention to a little problem that I'm having. With joblessness & homelessness being our set of circumstances at the moment, we are having a hard time figuring out how to incorporate Real Food into...well, poverty. Having a farm or backyard homestead might help with this problem...but, alas...have you checked the stats on buying land or a house with no job? Sooooo, some creative solutions are in order...(as well as a serious attitude adjustment for me.) {Cue: I might be registering for school tomorrow!!! What!? I'll elaborate when I know more:)}

I am so ready to get started on our new lifestyle, and I have this "the way it should be" problem...which, if you were reading during the time we were on our trip, you should recall this problem, readily. I am struggling with visions of colorful, seasonal bounty dancing in my head, so food is becoming a real struggle.

The Scene: I bought 3 peaches from the grocery store, today. (I know, what was I thinking?) But, it's peach season, and I'm desperate, because I'm yearning for them, and the farmer's market is several days away. Besides, I'm one of those annoying foodie people that smells each piece of produce before I select it...and these peaches smelled gooood....very peachy. Well, I got it home, washed it, sat down to eat it, and it was tough, sour, and just plain AWFUL! Remember the Veruca Salt fit I pitched the other day?...well, Take Two. I LOATHE bad produce. Strangely, a few years ago, I would have just eaten it, wondering where along the road of my life peaches had lost their charm. Well, I now know that the charm has literally been stolen, and a bad produce experience is beginning to get equal billing alongside getting my purse snatched.

{don't be fooled by it's fuzzy cuteness. it's an imposter. an imposter, i say!}

Well, I guess that teaches me...I suppose I will just have to make friends with a local farmer this weekend at the Farmer's Market, and buy all I can carry. Maybe that way, I'll be contributing to my local food economy, contributing to a small farmers' ability to still be one next year...and I'll finally be able to have my peach...and eat it, too.

We're Outa Here

Ok...well, I have a post about marriage in the works, but I'm emotional about it, and it's pretty snarky....so, in the interest of wisdom and discretion, I'm going to wait. Besides, when I feel like this about something, it tends to dwell and swell in my psyche, until I'm having a bad day, and don't know why.

So, instead of writing an article about how marriages are falling apart, I'm going to conserve my energy, and invest it in my own marriage, this weekend. I'm choosing to let go, and fully soak in the 4th of July celebrations in Lubbock, all the while thanking God for my wonderful husband. We've been annoying each other quite a bit this past week, so I'm going to make it my mission to pave over that rocky path, enjoy the family time, enjoy celebrating our freedom, and make some wonderful memories:)

God has blessed me beyond measure, and allowed me to be born in a country where I can post my opinions on a public forum, not get stoned, and go home to a husband that won't stab me in my sleep because I rolled my eyes at him. Theatrics, again...I know. But, seriously...the truth is more dramatic than any fiction.

I love doing this. I appreciate it with every fiber of my being. And I also love fireworks...with the giddyness of a child...I love those colors exploding across the sky. What's better? I get to watch them with my kid...and he's reached the age where he totally gets why we're doing it. So, I want to thank you all for reading, wish you the happiest Independence Day, stickiness from watermelon juice, achy sides from laughing, euphoria under the plumes of exploding colors, and contentment in the arms of the ones you love. Have FUN! Give THANKS!.....

...and, GOD BLESS AMERICA!

*I'll be back on Tuesday...have a safe and happy weekend:)

Livin' La Vida Locavore

Often, when I tell people in my hometown that my husband and I have this dream to buy a farm, start growing our own food, hand making most of our household products, and to can and preserve all summer so that we can eat in the winter, I get these blank and questioning stares like they have just run into a certifiable masochist. The look is always followed with the inevitable question, "but, WHY would you want to work that hard, when you can just go to the store?!" It makes me giggle:)

To put it lightly, the DFW metroplex is not necessarily a haven for agrarian minded people. I get it...I really do. I'm a city girl. I'm one of those that actually finds it relaxing and wonderful to be in the middle of New York City. I've grown up and lived in one of the largest metropolis areas in the country for the last 20+ years. So, it's a little counter-intuitive that I would actually choose a life of weed pullin' and feather pluckin'. But, there is a reason...LOTS of reasons...and I'm about to give you my Top 5. *Notice I said top five...there are MANY more. {these are not necessarily in order of importance}

5. Quietness

Everywhere, all the time, there is noise. It's funny to me, how everyone always yearns for a better time. They yearn for the time when everything wasn't so scary, and everything wasn't so tense, and everything wasn't so hurried. I have a thought about that. When I sit and listen to all the opinions about every single thing that's going on in the world, it dawns on me that the information age may have a hoodwink buried in it somewhere. Who said it was a good idea for everyone to know everything...at every moment? I get tired of all the noise, all the political BS that comes from everyone knowing how the president reacted when he spilled guacamole on his shirt in the middle of a security briefing, or what happened when Brad Pitt was shaving this morning. Just a bunch of sheep, being told what to think, what to care about, what to buy. Nothing good comes of it...ever. I'm ready to learn the opinions of the ground, as it gives up the fruits of my labor, communing with the bees as we work together to make the garden grow, to feel the sun warm on my back, or the few whispers of rain, letting me know it's time to go in. Job 12:8 says, "speak to the earth, and it shall teach you"...yeah, I intend to hear it.

4. It's Biblical

I have been in church my entire life, and I never knew this part. We are called to a sustainable, manual life in the Bible. I Thessalonians 4:11-12 "11Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we have told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." Now...I don't think that God expects everyone to be a farmer. However, I do believe that it's important for people to at least know HOW. I believe we need to live in community with one another, and to be able to contribute our skills into the lives of those around us. However, at this point, the closest thing we know to having a relationship with those who produce our food, is saying hi to the checkout person at the grocery, or thanking a waiter for their service. We need to go deeper.

3. It's the Opposite of Consuming

Our daily lives consist of a long series of acts of consuming, interspersed with moments of expending. Here's what I mean...(and this is a general look at the American lifestyle...not every person)...we eat, we buy, we type, we gas up, we burn that gas, we listen to radio, we watch TV, we read, we watch the news, we read emails, we read tickers, we workout, we bathe, we eat some more, we work at a job where we push buttons a bunch, we turn on lights, we dry our hair, we sit, we grocery shop, we stop in for a latte...it just goes on and on. There is so much that we do to consume all kinds of energy. Producing your own food is a practice in creating fuel, expending physical energy, putting life into the earth, putting nutrients into the soil, creating health benefits, creating environmental benefits, and living with purpose...for a noble cause. It's a life that is spent giving forth, with highly valued times of reaping harvest, consuming truth, and sharing with those you love. See the difference? It's intended life...not life happening to us.

2. Real Health

Man, this one's loaded. Ok...in order for me to fit this paragraph into this post, I'm going to have to completely leave out the issue of our fake food debaucle. Chances are, if you're reading this, you are looking for answers to the "how the heck do I get off this crazy thing" question regarding what has been allowed to pass as food, in our country. So, I think I'll just address the integrity of our supply of "normal" food, and leave the Frankenfood discussion for a time when I'm blogging with a glass of red wine in hand. So...in order for food, namely produce, to be transported 1500 miles, and still look nice when it gets to the grocery, things have to go a certain way. First of all, if it were to be harvested when ripe, it would be a soupy mush by the time it traveled in the back of a semi all the way across the country or up from Chile. So, they pick it green (unready), load into the truck, and throw an ethylene cartridge in, shut the door, and PRESTO...it LOOKS ripe when they get it at the store. What's the problem? Well, the ripening process as God designed it, is the part where are the good stuff happens...you know, like flavor, nutrients, color, phyto-chemicals, disease healing properties, disease preventing properties, and the like. When that thing is picked "green" all that stuff that we think is in there....well, it ain't. It's just made to LOOK good, so that when we go to the grocery store, and "stick to the outer perimeter" in order to ensure that we're making the best health choices, well, it's really just a smoke and mirrors game where they all laugh while we buy a very colorful array of, let's be honest...sour water. Then we wonder WTF is going on, when we go to the doctor, and despite our best efforts, have some horrendous disease, for which we will take a little pill for the rest of our lives, and actually die of the affects of THAT, quicker than we ever would have died of the disease, itself. Cue weepy loved ones at the edge of the grave....Aaaaand, SCENE! Man, they're clever.

1. Sustainability.
I'm becoming less and less inhibited about telling people that I am somewhat of a conspiracy theorist. Now...I'm not carrying around copies of The Catcher in the Rye, and I don't think there are government agents following me (yet;). The kind of thing I'm talking about is the kind of thing that we are dealing with right now. I believe that greed and convenience addiction are literally killing us; that how we have come to depend solely on those philosophies to run every facet of our lives is dangerous...and a ticking time bomb. And friends...that timer is winding down...AND HOW! The BP oil spill is really just like seeing the flashlight in the Watergate. It's just the warning shot. There's always going to be that guy...the one who's phone rings in church, that reminds everyone else that they need to turn theirs off...BP is that guy. We have a problem, here, folks...and, it's not going to get any better as long as our very livelihoods are completely dependent on a giant, oil-guzzling infrastructure to bring our food to us from an average of 1500 miles away. That is INSANITY! All it's going to take is for some sleeper cell somewhere to fully understand the fact that if they screw up our ability to get oil...the whole country folds. Seriously...the grocery stores are empty, the stores go bare...and then what's a consumption-addicted, push-button country to do for food? At this point it would be laughable to think we'd just pick up a hoe, and get to work. Kids don't even know that their food came out of the dirt, much less how to get it there and get it out! That is a problem...a serious one. The system that we all adhere to, every single day, is really just a giant sinkhole under the freeway...one day soon, the whole thing is going to open up, and take us all down with it. So...yeah, not sustainable. I don't want to be a part of it, anymore...This sheep's jumping the fence.

* I realize that there is a very irreverent tone to this post, and I apologize. But, that's where I am...I'm sick of it. It's like life is a joke, and it's not getting any better until we start taking a hard look at taking back the reigns. There shouldn't be a single person left in this country that believes that "they" have our best interest at heart. They don't.

Check out this post in Fight Back Fridays at

http://www.foodrenegade.com/fight-back-friday-july-9th/