Thursday, March 18, 2010

No Row to Hoe...

Well, it's been a long few weeks. I truly did not realize that life would be taking on such a different shade throughout this experience, but that it has! I have been struggling with how to explain where I am, right now, because the truth is...I don't know. So much has happened in the few weeks since I last wrote, regularly, and it's hard to pinpoint what to cover. So, my solution is to just start from the beginning, and try not to babble. Sound like a plan?

When I started this particular blog, my plan was to chronicle a journey that I have been wanting to pursue for years...the journey towards real, nutritious food, and a more purposeful family life. I feel that family is being attacked, and I feel that the food crisis in this country goes tandem with that issue! So, I had simple plans to start making my own bread, and only buy a few things from the grocery store. I believe in food preparation. I believe in "from scratch". I didn't realize that God was going to "scratch" EVERYTHING!

I have lived with a gnawing feeling of "not right", for a long, long time. My husband and I are the kind of people that really have a hard time swallowing this life that "they" want us to live, but for years, have swallowed it, for lack of knowing what else to do. We have been wanting what "they" tell us to want, and buying what "they" tell us to buy, and the whole time, we have felt a palpable sense of irritability about it...always feeling like we were failing at doing something that we were pretty sure was going to make us miserable. Housing developments, Chili's, shopping centers that all look the same, and have the same stores from head to toe...this may sound dramatic, but this stuff makes us look at each other and roll our eyes. Strange thing is, I'm pretty sure we never communicated it, save our mutual affection for Austin (in all it's glorious weirdness), and the first time we heard the theme song to Weeds...which pretty much articulates how we feel...a sweet, music box-y, go-with-the-flow mentality about something we actually hate! It's like watching yourself as a sheep going into the slaughterhouse, and screaming for yourself to stop, but the Pied Piper is tooting you along. (Do you think that is enough hyperbole for one sentence?:) Anyway - all the theatrics lead to this...we want liberation and authenticity, and realness, and...well, life...true life.

During my first few weeks of blogging, I came across several blogs that were all about natural food. This, naturally, led to bloggers that lead "off the beaten path" lifestyles, what since leading a natural lifestyle, is, as of yet, "off the beaten path". A lot of them live "in transition", meaning they literally sold all their belongings, and moved into an RV, and are now citizens of the country. This intrigued me, to say the least, but I chalked it up to, "wow, how gutsy and awesome...might be fun if I didn't need to live a REAL life." Alas, it gnawed and nagged at me. I didn't say anything about it. Enter...Food, Inc.

I had been hearing about this documentary for a while, but I was reluctant, because I thought it was going to be some PETA-driven, "don't murder the cows" campaign for vegetarianism. But, in the spirit of making educating decisions, I thought I would give it a go...and drag my husband along for the ride. (mwahahahaha!) Well, how wrong I was. I could, and probably will, do an entire blog post about Food, Inc., but in the mean time, it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that everyone who eats food...any this country watch this. My husband huffed and puffed, but he sat down and crossed his arms, and did the "fine! if it will shut you up" face, and we pushed play. Let me just tell you, but the end of the opening credits, his arms were uncrossed. It is so well done, so entertaining...and it just might save your life.

Let me just back up, here, and let you in on something else that plays a huge part of this. I have known for a very long time that food is part of my calling. For the past year, I have amped up my prayer about what I am supposed to be doing. I always figured that being a wife and mom would be enough for me, but I feel pulled to have an effect on other facets of life, as well. In the way that He usually tends to deal with me, God pointed me very clearly in the direction of blogging and immediately took over the process. I have learned to feel very comfortable with understanding when God is doing the talking...because, I simply don't get a vote in the matter. (Love aspect of Him: these situations always align with the desires He puts in my heart:) I really appreciate His being so clear with me...I really do. However, as a result, the big events of my life have been EXTREMELY unorthodox, and it's actually become a little bit of a game with He and I. ("What strange thing do you have planned for me, this year, Lord? I know You have something in store that's going to have my loved ones looking at me out of the corner of their eye, and giving me that fake, supportive look, that let's me know they think I'm nutso.")

Anyway - it's becoming clear that this is going to have to be a 2-part post. But, here's the turning point. On February 20, my husband and I were sitting at the breakfast table. We have had a very challenging year, because he has been working out of town, Monday thru Friday, for the entire year. We have been expecting the end of this separation, but it seems like it will never come. (as I write this...Friday is his very last journey home!!!) We were having that...I just want to get out of here...I don't want all this stuff, I don't want to pay a mammoth electric bill, again, and I want to be together again!!, kind of moments. Just a general sick and tired. I looked at him, and jokingly said..."Hey! Maybe we should pack up, get an RV, and set out for the year!"...hahahahaha!! We snickered at my foolishness for a moment, and then...we looked at each other, and abruptly stopped. At the exact same time we were like "you know...we could actually do that, you know...I mean...why not, right?" Well, for starters, we have a home, we have responsibilities, he has a's not possible. we prayed about our future. (We know enough, after 11 years of being each other's "different drummer", that when we both have the same crazy idea at the same time, we should probably give it credence.)

Continued in next post...

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts with Thumbnails