Thursday, April 29, 2010

Leaving Texas

Hello from Phoenix, AZ. We are here, visiting my in-laws, and sleeping like logs, and eating some YYYYYUMMMY food (albeit, not without nutritional drawbacks:). Seriously...I'm a food snob, and I rarely like anyone's food, but my own. My mom-in-law's ROCKS! It's no wonder my husband loves my's very close to his mom's. It's been really nice to spend some time with them, and let them experience the joys and mind-blowing exhaustion that is our little boy...HA!

Sunday is the day we left Texas. I was born and raised in Texas, and though there are some tenets I don't subscribe to...I love it. The last time I left was 7 years ago...when we went on our honeymoon. We had a blast on that trip, and I've left the state many times, I wasn't expecting the gut check I had when leaving on Sunday. I could feel it coming on when we saw this...

It was just a small twinge in my belly, just a little uneasy...and I let it pass. I let myself get excited about the whole Route 66 thing, and embraced the wide open road.

Now, let me preface this by reminding you...we sold half our stuff, packed everything else into a storage unit, and are, technically...homeless. I haven't actually felt that, because we were staying with my parents, my grandmother, in a giant hole in the ground that I grew up going to, and treading the ground where generations before me tread. So, when we were making our way to Albuquerque, my husband had me look up some campgrounds for our lodging that night. DREAD. That's all I felt..and it grew stronger the closer we got. We got to the Sandia mountains that overlook Albuquerque.

Now...I'm going to sound like a ridiculous baby, here...and I'm well aware of, laugh if you need to...I get it. If you don't live around mountains, and you haven't seen them in a really long time...when one rises up in front of you, it can be...breathtaking...intimidating...foreboding. Ok, I'll say it...nerve-racking. I have made an internal commitment to just allow whatever feelings come, to wash over me...and, so I did. But, it kept getting stronger the closer to our campsite we got. We stopped to get a bite at a little place on the Turquoise Trail, there in the Sandias. When I got out of the car, and the cold air hit...the lump in my throat started. We sat down...the only patrons in the restaurant, and the tears started flowing.

I've stated before that, when it comes to my emotions, resolution rarely happens until I talk to Brandon about them. I could say the same words to another person...but, if they don't fall on Brandon's ears...they're not real. He looked at me, saw the emotions playing out, and put his hand on mine..."tell me what's wrong". I honestly didn't know until I opened my mouth and said, "I just feel soooo homeless out here!" *Isolated. Disoriented. Alone. Vulnerable.* "And I don't want to sleep in a tent tonight!" (heaving sobs) He would have gotten us a hotel, even though we shouldn't spend the money...he's just like that. But, I didn't want to fail this early in the, I said no. It was pitch black out when we finished eating, and we drove to the campground. When we got there, we found out that they had little cabins for rent...and there was ONE available. We wouldn't have known, except for a man pulled up behind us, that worked there, and just happened to be stopping by. God knew I couldn't deal that, through my husband's sensitivity & some divine orchestration...we slept comfortably and warm that

When I woke up, I felt much better. I had some quiet time in the the crisp mountain air, and felt like I could move forward. I know that my feelings were a result of not having a place to go back to...and not knowing where we will land. I don't know what our future holds...and that's OK. A good friend told me yesterday..."you may end up wanting what you always had. But, at least you'll know you actually WANT it...and you're not just doing it because you didn't know what else to do." Good words.

I will tell you one matter what we do, or where we end up...I know this for sure:


  1. I think it is pretty brave of you to do this Aleisha... whatever THIS turns out to be... I am so glad you were brave enough to put yourself out there and just pull up stakes and well...just GO out into the mostly scary world and DO something!! I wish you had an RV to give you SOME comfort, but maybe along your travels, you will find your way and someone or something will put an RV/comfort in your path? You never know!! I will promise to keep up with you and I wish you every bit of happiness! BIG HUGS to you darlin'!!

  2. I second Kimberly's post. You, Brandon and Jaxen ARE brave. As I read this post, and the previous one I want to tell you: Stepping out in faith is NOT stepping out without fear, doubts, or even complaint. It is taking the step believing that your Father will not let you fall, and that this step will lead to something amazing. So, as you're taking these first steps on this journey, study the Hall of Famers of Faith. Moses is one of our faith heroes, right? Well, he had a heck of a lot of fear and doubt... and even complaints. So did Abraham. And Job. Even Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane had fear. So much fear that he sweat blood. Remember his prayer: "Let this cup pass from me. But not my will but yours be done." THAT is our perfect example of faith.

    I think y'all are going through sort of a faith boot camp. You're intentionally taking yourselves WAY out of the norm, out of the comfortable, to do some intense and high-impact exercise of your faith muscles. So when you return to the norm, the comfortable, you will have changed your faith lives FOREVER.

  3. I love your post Aleisha and your honesty. I am so proud of you for being brave. And your cabin is really cute. I envy you and your chance to experience life outside your comfort zone. Hang in there and enjoy this once in a lifetime experience. I miss the mountains, so I'm a little jealous of the fact that you get to see some. I love the wide open plains of Texas, but there is just something awesome and majestic about mountains. It's been awesome to see how God is working through this trip. The cabin is such a reminder that God really does know when to step in and help us out when we can't go any further. I love y'all. Just remember that you can do anything.



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