This is me. Late at night. The best I could do with the flash in my face...oh well. I didn't realize how crooked my features are...that's not at all what I look like to myself. Of course...I suffer from the opposite of anorexia...where I think I'm ok, and then catch a mirror & lose my stomach in disbelief of what I'm seeing. Delusional, I think they call it. Wow...somber mood, anyone?
The boys are asleep, and we are somewhere north of San Francisco in wine country. I believe the town is Rohnert Park. I've been having a couple of days full of meltdowns...I'm sure triggered by a nasty bout of hormonal surges and imbalances. There's no other explanation for it when I get like this...completely nonsensical abuse of myself and those around me. I have a hard time finding anything redeemable about myself during times like these. But, my dearest friend reminded me today...that's because there is nothing redeemable about me. I am justified and identified by my Saviour. He is my portion. My identity lies in Him...and Him alone. How blessed I am that I'm not all I have. I love her for the truth and therapy she gives me...Heather, I'm talkin' to you.
I realized that I am out here, waiting for some awesome change to happen to me. I basically just brought the problems from home out here on the road with me. What's with that?
Tomorrow's a new day.
Thank the Lord for His unending chances.