Friday, May 7, 2010

Living and Learning

I'm there. I'm really IN this thing. I realized today, that it had been a while...somewhere back in Arizona, that I had stopped looking back. It may have been while we were driving to Las Vegas on Monday, when I had a meltdown, and realized that my relationship with food had taken on the personality of a toxic that you know is bad, but nothing in you wants to change it...until you get punched in the face. I realized it...and for the first time, ever...I'm being able to say goodbye.

I've learned a few things about myself...out here where I rarely sleep in the same city 2 nights in a row, and have brushed my teeth in more gas station bathrooms than I care to admit. I've learned something about the world, too. Here's what I've found so far...

  • I may never be OK with driving up the side of a mountain...but, that's where the good stuff is...and I can do it.
  • I spend most of my time uncomfortable... too hot, too cold, too scared, too hungry...but, I've been sleeping better on this trip than I have since I was a kid.
  • I don't have to worry about what's happening on the news when I don't watch it.
  • Anxiety is a product of the unknown.
  • When you DO GET nothing.
  • Having your breath taken away isn't always comfortable...but, I have SEEN it...with my OWN eyes.
  • Believing that this world was made by chance, is like believing that the Sistine Chapel was an accidental paint spill.
  • I have a lot to learn...but, I know my God is sovereign...and I know I'm in the middle of His will for me.
It's taken me longer than I had hoped...but, I can honestly say, I've chipped away and away at it, and....

...I'm finally out of my shell.

1 comment:

  1. You. Are. Awesome.

    And I think you've discovered the key to life, to happiness, to ... whatever it is that everyone wants: "I know my God is sovreign... and I know I'm in the middle of His will for me." How incredible it is to learn to truly see God for who He is, and to see ourselves the way He does! How freeing it is to learn to trust Him and look forward to His promises:

    Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." [Actually the whole chapter rocks.]

    Psalm 40:1-5 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. (2) He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. (3) He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and out their trust in the Lord. (4) Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. (5) Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare." [Again, the whole chapter ROCKS!] [I also like U2's added lyric: "I WILL SING A NEW SONG!"]

    Jeremiah 29:11-14a "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (12) Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. (13) You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (14) I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back from captivity.'"

    Just to name a few...



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