The truth about all this is...I have a ton of knowledge about how to live healthy. I spend my free time in research, I expend LARGE amounts of energy ensuring that my child is as healthy as possible. I love working out, I love workout clothes, gear...heck, I even get workout magazines. But, alas...I have a self-discipline problem. Yes, I've been depressed and lonely, and I've used food for companionship and to mask certain pain...and, for a long time, I had no idea what that was. But, now, it's been identified, I am fully aware...and I have no excuses left.
Here's a story, that I am ashamed to tell, but it gives the picture of the depth of this problem. Last week, my son and I made chocolate chip cookies. (He loves to help me cook more than anything else in the world.) The next morning we woke up, I was brushing my teeth, and he appeared around the corner with one of the cookies. I was very concerned, grabbed it away, and told him that it wasn't OK to have a cookie first thing in the morning. I proceeded to tell him how it would make his blood sugar spike, and mess up his adrenal levels all day long. (This is a tactic I use to ward of the "why?"s. I give him a true and complicated explanation so that he doesn't care anymore:) Silly, but I was TRULY concerned. It's terrible for your body to do that, and I was aghast that my son's body would be treated in such a manner. (Like I said, I'm nutty about his health.) So, having warded off that evil, I went into the kitchen to make him some scrambled eggs and toast...(organic, free range eggs, scrambled in extra-virgin coconut oil, and whole wheat toast), opened the refrigerator to get the ingredients out, and...wait for it........ATE THE COOKIE MYSELF! That's right...that which I was mortified to let happen to his body, I was more than willing to accept for my own. What?! WHY!? I don't hate myself...I think I'm quite nice, actually...save a few grizzly character flaws, and I think I have OK self-worth. I think it comes down to habit...a momentum that was set during those times of depression and lonliness that is still with me.
Throughout this blogging experience, I will explore all the habits that need changing, but self-discipline is the DOOZY! It's the one that guides and determines all the others. However, I don't believe that it's possible to just DECIDE to have self-discipline. In Colossians 2:20-23 it states "2o. Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 21. "Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? 22. These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. 23. Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence." Ok, so maybe that's why I've failed at this for so long. I have been relying on my own success or failure to make the difference.
So, here is my challenge this week. I am going to spend the first chunk of time in my morning to get in the Word, to talk to God, and unleash the Holy Spirit. I don't think I need to waste any more time trying to figure out what's wrong with me. I just need to go to my life-source. So, how about it? Will you commit to get up every morning and give your first time to God? Do whatever it takes, for you, to make it happen.
One of my favorite teachers, Joyce Meyer, says "Do what you know to do, not what you feel like doing, and then what you feel like doing will catch up with what you know to do."
Leave me comments about how you are doing, or any other concerns so that we can encourage each other, and make this a REAL change...one that sticks, makes new habits, and resets our momentum.